


Nenarchy

by Vampyrix25



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Continent Arc (Hunter X Hunter), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Flashbacks, Hugs for Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nen (Hunter X Hunter), POV Third Person, Pining Gon Freecs, Pining Killua Zoldyck, Post-Chairman Election Arc, Post-Chimera Ant Arc, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Warnings May Change, Whump, but nothing impossible just like kinda gory, correction: will, fluff maybe, for set tags, god idk anything abt this, gon finally becomes powerful lol, im crying :), is that what this is?, kinda meaning very, probably put TWs in chapter top notes, revolves around Gon though, something something zoldyck idk, they are not ok :(, typical zoldyck abuse, unbelievably slow burn, which is ironic considering slow burn physically hurts me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:06:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29198088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vampyrix25/pseuds/Vampyrix25
Summary: For every decision made, there is a desire to reverse it. Such is nature; stubborn and abject to change. Gon Freeccs has lost his Nen, and he is about to find out that often, a choice is the hardest thing to take back.Ch1-4: Keyfinder ArcCh5-9: Zoldyck Arc 2: Electric Tortureloo.Ch10-?: Dreamer's Arc.
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck & Kalluto Zoldyck, Alluka Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Hisoka, Gon Freecs & Kalluto Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Kurapika, Gon Freecs & Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Kalluto Zoldyck & Kikyou Zoldyck, Kalluto Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 27
Kudos: 38





	1. Back To Normal.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, idk how this works so lets hope I don't break my fic within the first minute! This is my first time on AO3 (I'm reuploading this fic from wattpad while it's WIP), and my first time writing a non-OC centric fanfic. Thank you in advance for even taking the time to read this! Any comments are appreciated, as is any sort of interaction!  
> Tags and Categories subject to change!
> 
> Oh yeah, TW: Typical Hisoka antics.

_"You'd be ungrateful if you wanted more, so be happy about it."_ Ging's words echoed in Gon's head, bouncing off walls made of unclaimed intellect, and back into his conscious thought until it buzzed, and pierced his ear until it bled. 

Gon had bled before, he'd done a lot worse... But this, this was different. Something else was bleeding away from him, and much to the green boy's chagrin, it was not his Nen. His micropyles had been sealed up for months now. Months of relentless training under an apparition of both Wing and Bisky he'd started thinking about, imagining everything they would have said to him, and responding as if Bisky and Wing were actually talking to him. Nothing had changed. He didn't deal with inactivity or his own weakness very well, it was driving him mad. It burned in his heart, one that longed for the warmth of others, of another, and of himself.

Nen was kept hidden to the general public, so Gon took to hushed corners of Cyberspace to try and find an answer. All he ended up with were cryptics and runes he didn't know how to translate, until one user took note of his string of perusal. Unfortunately for Gon, that one user had a very keen interest in 'fruit', and was exceptionally forward about their enquiry. So forward in fact, that Gon had recieved a message.

HM: It seems like my little spoiled fruit is looking for a way to build himself back up. Listen to me, you may still be cute, but you can't win my interest back anymore ;)

Gon was appalled, but before he cut all contact from _Pennywise 2: 27 Years Is 12 Too Many_ , he remembered that Hisoka was a very talented Nen user. Perhaps he could help in some way.

GF: You know that I wouldn't step near any thought about you in that way. You know that very well, Hisoka.

HM: Oohhhhhh, he's feisty today! Fine, I'll bite. What are you trying to do?

GF: From one Nen user to another, is there a way to reverse a Covenant?

Gon, and elsewhere, Killua, felt a shard of ice run up their spines as Hisoka raised his eyebrow in intrigue, and curled his lips into a pointed, malicious smile.

HM: Before I can help you, I'll need a tidbit of information from you. What is it that you fear most, my headstrong boy?

Gon was starting to regret his equating Pennywise to that pervert clown staring at his messages. Meanwhile, Hisoka was revelling in this. Not only was there an actual way to restore his lost interests, but it actively required a deep look inside said interest's brain, and then he _walked right up to him and asked him for it. His dream had come true._

HM: Actually, no. I believe it would be easier if we talked face to face. Besides, I have wanted to see you again for a while, Gon.

Gon's back bristled with trepidation, the calm, inviting words of that maniac decieved another motive, he could feel it. In the back of his mind, however, Gon knew that his life was not at stake. It was safe because, according to that sociopath, he wasn't 'worth killing'. That only made it worse.

GF: Fine. Where and when?

HM: I'm currently in Padokea, and I don't exactly want to go anywhere. I know that you have an arrangement in the Arena, so it should take no longer than 3 days. Think on my question, and I'll see you then ;)

Gon knew already why he was in Padokea, and the mere thought of seeing that blank, hostile stare directly at him grabbed onto his next breath and tugged at it until he had to force himself to breathe again. A sweat broke out across his face, like shards of ice and doubt-riddled needles which only served to make everything worse. Just the thought of Illumi sent Gon into a panic, made ever worse by the fact that he was now hunting Killua and Alluka down, and the fact that Gon still didn't have his Nen.

Gon stood up, action flared by determination and adrenaline, and set himself off towards the only person that could help him.


	2. In Padokea.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon takes the advice of the one who he should really refrain from taking advice from.
> 
> TW: Gon's PTSD. A lot of it. I'm sorry bb :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No real things to say except thank you all for the reception of the first chapter! I'm melting :)

It had been 2 days since Gon's call to action by that god forsaken clown. He had already bid farewell to Zushi and Wing. Wing having said nothing, almost as if he could tell what Gon was going to try and do, which in all fairness, wasn't hard. Gon wasn't exactly the most closed off person.

Gon looked up at his hair, and found his eyes instinctually drifting down, to the top of his shoulder, down his arm and into his open hand. He stared at each finger, one by one, before the airship began to lurch, breaking him out of his trance where _he swore he could feel something?_ It was touching down in Padokea soon, where Hisoka said he was. Gon could tell that he told the truth because he could feel those tear... and star... dropped eyes burning into his head.

After stepping out of the airship, Gon noticed a playing card stuck into the wall because of course and thought it would be quicker to follow whatever strange trail Hisoka had left for him. It led into a hotel, the last card had a note on it: 'Reservation in Room 4.24, under your name'. Gon walked up to the front desk and asked.

"Hello! Is there a reservation here under Gon Freecss?"

The receptionist scanned him up and down, before hesitantly replying.

"Yes, there is, but you don't look or sound like the person who made that reservation."

"Oh right, that was a..."

He paused for a second. His good nature steered him away from untruths and half-truths and every other term for "truth" that described anything but the truth, but he couldn't admit that freak was anything more than a thorn in his side. A sadistic, overly erotic thorn. He ended up croaking through the weight of his own overthinking.

_"...an aquaintance of mine."_

The man at the counter narrowed his eyes at him, Gon quaked in his boots at the mistrust glaring at him.

"Well, I'm not one to comment. Pro Hunter interpersonal affairs go way over my head!"

"How did you know I was a Pro?"

The man stared at him blankly, stunned silence, steeped in the forests of home, meeting a frightful determination, bathed in honey and light.

"H-how does anyone not?! You're Gon Freecss, the child prodigy who was seen fighting alongside Master Netero in the NGL incident! You and that Killua are frightfully skilled for people your age!"

The whole lobby had gone nearly silent, and Gon's eyes had narrowed into panicked pinpricks. His breath hitched in his throat and hacked itself up as if threatened by everyone who was now watching a legend have a traumatic episode in the middle of a hotel.

His eyes shook in his head, pulled towards the ground, forced to see images of Kite, strewn out and put back together, forced to hear that godforsaken cat yell out into the wind 'Terpsichora!' as if begging for her life, only to have the words burn up on Gon's second, third Jajanken. Forced to feel every bit of pain he felt when he saw Killua again.

He took that image, Killua, and twisted it inside his head. He added bits of grass on, patched up the ends with a rolling blue sky, and tried to remember a time when he smiled. Those brilliant blue eyes were lost in his face, curled up in laughter, and Gon felt a little bit better. It wasn't enough.

"I'm sorry." were the only words that he had managed to pull out. Through trembling lips and seething pains in his eyes, he only managed apologies. The man stared at him as he walked off with his key.

"I'd watch out if I were you! A blond man followed your aquaintance out of here earlier, and I think he should be coming back in a few minutes. He looked angry, I wouldn't advise crossing him." the man warned, his voice dripping with concern for Gon's wellbeing.

Gon, however, heard nothing. He was too focused on repeating the same apology to nobody in particular. He marched up the stairs, which were further away from the elevator, with a bag on each shoulder and two on his back. The hundred eyes in the lobby followed him before being thrown back to their own business when a low threat echoed through the room from the front door. Gon was too wrapped up in thoughts about Killua to care, and the source of the threat could tell by his blank expression. Gon muttered to himself silently.

_He is such a blessing to me. I don't know how I would have coped without him to be honest, but I think I'm mostly glad that he's away from his family. That horrible, horrible family. It's strange because only three or four of them are really that bad, but the way he's been treated by them is unforgivable. If there was only one thing in the world I could do, I would make sure the Zoldycks never found Killua. Except maybe Canary, Gotoh, and that small boy who was always by his mother..._

Before his train of thought could continue, Gon saw that he had passed Floor 4 a while ago. He let out a frustrated sigh and began his descent back to his floor, this time not letting his mind wander. With nothing to reflect on but the sound of his shoes against the cold stone floor, time stretches out for him, each step counted, idle mathematics turning the cogs in his brain a little bit too fast.

Floor 4, Gon looked to the end of the hall, surprised by how fast it ended, although that was partly due to Heaven's Arena. A sign beckoned him and directed him towards the right. 

Rooms 9-16 <  
Rooms 17-24 >

When he opened his door, a resonant chime rung through the room, followed by a sharp thud. Another card, this time perfectly through the window because _of course..._

A worried knock came from the other side. _The card can wait._ Gon thought, turning his attention to the person who was actually there. 

"Are you ok? I, uh, heard a noise and came to check." A familiar voice called out into the oak door. Gon's ears pricked up, and he rushed towards the other side of the door. When he opened it, he peeked his head out from behind the wood and saw, in front of him, that trademark scarlet stare that showed to Gon that his emotions were genuine, and powerful.

"Kurapika?"

"Gon! I certainly never expected you to be here. Was that noise anything to worry about?"

His ruby irises faded back to a calm grey, reassured by Gon's frightening resilience.

"Hey Kurapika! No, everything's fine. How have you been?"

Gon opens the door and steps to the right, attempting to hide the calling card of that vibrant card jockey. Judging by the flash in the taller - significantly taller man's eyes, that wasn't too successful. Attempting to keep the conversation going, Kurapika responded complacently.

"All things considered, I've been doing pretty well. Quite a few of the Phantom Troupe are now either dead or unable to use Nen again."

Gon flinched at that last remark. Kurapika noticed, but thought it would be worse if he asked. The NGL incident wasn't without consequence, after all.

"So I'm assuming that Hisoka is here, judging by his card. I can also assume that you went to him for help with your issue with Nen."

Kurapika was a very observant man, true to his bloodline. Gon was left absolutely bewildered.

"H-how did you know?" He stammered out, words logged with shame and regret.

"Hisoka came in earlier, asked for a reservation, then left. I started to track him out of the hotel, and I saw you across the road. You didn't see me because you were focused on following the playing cards, clearly you had some business with him. I was worried so I started to follow you. I used Zetsu to conceal my location which is why you never noticed me. You entered the hotel that he left, and after an... emotionally charged conversation, you left, up to your room, that Hisoka had reserved for you."

Gon's ears were threatening to blow steam, but he pressed on, listening intently to Kurapika's explanation. To be honest, he just liked the sound of his friend's voice after such a long time of non-contact.

"But how did you know about..."

"You flinched when I mentioned what happened to the Troupe, specifically abo--"

Kurapika was cut off by muttering. Gon had started saying things to himself partway through his detailed explanation.

"It was all my fault. I let them down. I couldn't beat one fast enough so Master Netero died because of me. I could've helped, but instead I hurt everyone. I forced Killua away, and I know that we talked a bit about it but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt and now I need to think about how that black haired bastard is still after him."

Gon was crying at this point. Kurapika had walked him over to his bed where they both sat on the edge, old springs creaking under the weight.

"I was looking for a way to reverse a Covenant and get my Nen back, because I was selfish and I didn't care about myself anymore. I gave up my Nen and all it did was hurt others! I thought that maybe, if I got it back, that I could move on, that I could prove that it wasn't all for nothing."

Gon was in pieces. He didn't notice Kurapika holding him tight against his chest, as if trying to keep the pieces in place.

"I know I can't say that I understand, and I'm sorry about that, but if there is anything I can do to help?" Kurapika gazed into the watery sunset that was Gon's eyes. Only this time it was mottled by a darkness he could easily equate with his own.

Gon, upon hearing those tender, hushed whispers, broke. He held onto Kurapika as tightly as he was being held and sobbed into the taller boy's shoulder. 

Kurapika couldn't stand seeing him like this. He made his choice, there and then, that he was going to stay with the boy who saved him so long ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not good at writing just pure happy content, so we get this first! Thank you for reading this far, and coping with my endless unfiltered dumbassery.
> 
> Oh yeah, please note: Not KuraGon! I am not writing KuraGon, they are just both tired and they're there and they need hugs. Kurapika and Gon have more of a older/younger brother dynamic I feel.


	3. Once More.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Kurapika set out towards what they hope will be their key to recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for following along with this! My updates unfortunately will slow down because I was using the fact that I had a backlog of chapters to write the fourth one, but I ended up wanting to put them out really quick because I want people to read them :>  
> Slight TW: Typical Zoldyck Abuse briefly mentioned, some T+ language used

When the two of them broke, and the air had fell silent again, Gon tugged the playing card out of his wall. It had another message.

'I can read you like a book.  
Testing Gate, 4:30'

Given that it was 3:30 now, Gon had little time to prepare for setting out. Kurapika hadn't left when Gon put on some more maneuverable clothing. As he went to leave, he spoke up.

"Gon, let me come with you."

Gon turned back to see Kurapika, eyes bright like a firework show, full of desire to protect what he can see needs it.

"What? I'm sorry but I don't think I can, Kurapika. It's as you know, a matter of deep pers--"

"I can't bear to see you like that alone. I can't bear knowing that my friend, one of the first I really had outside of my own clan, is out there crying. I haven't been here for a long time, you and I know that, so let me be."

Gon knew that there was no backing down for his friend. His face had a look of grim determination, whilst Gon merely smiled back at him.

"I suppose there's no stopping you then? Come on then, the bus leaves soon. We need to be there when he says."

An awkward conversation with a confused receptionist later, Gon and Kurapika were out of the door and on their way to Zoldyck Mansion. Gon's stomach tightened into a horrible knot. He remembered the first time they took the tour bus, how much simpler it was then. He remembered about how the Testing Gates were outrageously heavy. 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256 tons, the screeching of that lumbering hulk anyone sane would call a wall clung to his mind, and he wasn't sure if it was the sparks from the friction or the general area that caused Killua and his strife to pry open his worry, but before he gave it thought, he found himself fishing out his phone. Kurapika watched him with concern, concern for his rough, considerate hands trembling out Killua's number.

The low hum of the engine was cut through by the ringing of Gon's phone. The low periodic droning signified that Killua hadn't picked up. Gon began to sweat, his vision folded in on itself into the phone. It wasn't until half a minute after that he realised that Killua had picked up, and was listening to Gon's ragged, panicked breath.

"Gon? GON! Are you alright?!"

"Killua? Is that you?"

"Of course it's me, idiot! Stop avoiding the question, are you ok?"

"Killua I've missed you so much! Is everything going well wi--"

"GON ANSWER ME! WHAT'S HAPPENED!?"

Gon shied away from the phone, his hands were trembling again.

"Um... I was really worried about you. I called to see how you were doing and it took a while for you to pick up so I thought something bad had happened to you, Alluka and..."

He trailed off, eyeing the people around him.

"Nothing happened to us, we're completely fine! Where are you right now?" Killua responded understandingly. Nanika's situation wasn't one to go around broadcasting. His calm exterior was then all but shattered by Gon.

"W-we've gone to Padokea..."

Killua froze. _We? What did Gon mean by "We"?_ His mind rested on that before even mentioning Padokea, even if it was just for a second.

"Gon, what do you mean 'We'?"

Gon, naturally initially confused, eventually responded.

"Oh! You'll never guess what! When I was at the hotel I met up with Kurapika! He says hi, and he's looking well!" 

"Oh okay, that's good to..." Killua trailed off again. _Padokea? Kurapika?_

"Gon. I'm going to ask you this very slowly and carefully okay?" Gon's eyebrows raised quizzically at this.

"What. The. Fuck?"

Gon had burst into laughter, startled stamps across the bus had, in turn, shocked him out of his hysteria.

"Where do you want me to start?" He giggled to himself at the fact that Killua was still this easy to heat.

"Kurapika first."

"Ah, his business is finished. He's only just finding out that I know this but I can see a... an emptiness behind his eyes. Not emotionally, mind you. Just a..." Kurapika looked up at Gon, and for the first time, he let the young boy see just how tired vengeance could make someone.

"...listlessness." Gon's voice had become closed off, quieter. "I always felt like I got that impression from you too, Killua. Well, until I saw Alluka. How is she anyway?"

"Not answering that yet, Freecss. You know what I want to know."

"Oh, right. I'm in Padokea because someone local said they have a way to help with my issue."

Killua's eyes lit up at the news.

"That's great! Are you on your way to meet them?" 

Gon hesitated for a second. If Killua found out that he was headed to the Zoldycks to meet Hisoka of all people, he would flip. As he went to speak, the tour guide spoke up again. Killua ended up only discerning two words from the both of them.

Yeah. Tour.

Killua could feel his hair stand on end. His electricity shot through him and threatened to destroy his phone. 

"Who are you going to see?" A darker tone left Killua, knowing fully well that only one tour bus was present in Padokea.

"Do you promise not to worry if I tell you?"

"When do I not worry about you, Gon?"

Gon's smile beamed from ear to ear, A light blush formed on Killua's face as he came to terms with what he had just said.

"Awww! You do care! Thank you Killua!" Gon exclaimed, semi-sarcastically.

"S-shut up! I knew your embarrassment would rub off on me!" Gon cackled at this, relishing in the fact that Killua was still so easy to fluster. He couldn't get enough of it. His thoughts started to run away with him in tow, again. _The surprised stare that those brilliant cerulean eyes gave, always trying to seem threatening, but never making it past an endearing shock when pointed at the lacquered wooden glow of his own. The way his face contrasted that vibrancy, a drop of perfect rain in a wildfire, set off in the forests atop record breaking mountains, so that the snow and clouds, indiscernable, white, and fluffy as they were, steadily dripped down into the leaves, stealing away any form of heat left and Ok Gon you may have sidetracked yourself a bit._ Gon shook his head to rid himself of the runaway thoughts and a very apparent blush. Kurapika couldn't help but laugh. Gon came back into focus, still hesitant to make his friend worry.

"Okay, the person who wants to help me with my nen..."

"Yes? Come on, out with it already!"

"It's Hisoka."

Killua was once again stunned into silence. If any hair on his body wasn't standing by now, then that statement made them leap up like soldiers. A concerned rage bubbled inside him, before his outcry burst forth.

"What?! _That clown bastard?!_ Gon, of everyone in the world, you picked him? Your dad _MADE GREED ISLAND._ You had multiple teachers who were _AT NGL!_ And you chose that bootleg Red Queen looking ass pedophile?"

Despite the hilarity in Killua's (completely justified) insults, Gon brought himself to answer.

"Hey! It's not my fault! He traced me across the internet. I didn't look for him to help!"

_Oh, so it wasn't enough for Hisoka to be helping Gon, no. He also has to be STALKING HIM?!_ Killua's thoughts pounded in his head, louder than any words being said by either him or Gon.

"THAT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE!"

A tense silence washed over, before Killua spoke up again.

"If you are going where I think you are, at least do one thing for me." Killua's voice dipped low, desperate. Gon and Kurapika, who was now evesdropping intently, listened close.

"Get Kalluto out of there. With Milluki being how he is, and Illumi firmly positioned as an operative, Kalluto is next in line."

"Next in line for what, Killua?" Kurapika spoke up, startling Gon. 

"With me gone, there's nobody left but Kalluto to take up the mantle of head of the business. I don't want that to happen to him."

"But why do you want to save him? He's one of your siblings isn't he? You've always hated your siblings."

"Kalluto is young. Younger than Alluka, and he never did anything to hurt me. He wasn't kind, but he was a decent person. I don't want that to be beaten out of him by his mother..." Killua's voice was wavering now. "So please, save Kalluto!"

"We understand. We'll try our best!" Gon replied, in his comfortingly cheery intonation.

Killua let go of a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, and muttered a quiet "Thank you." before hanging up.

Gon knew his purpose. Invigorated by his goal, the boy couldn't sit still for the rest of the ride. Kurapika stared into the distance, trying to remember where he had heard the name _Kalluto Zoldyck._ It was 4PM, and the bus was in sight of the mountain's vast wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me so long to write that conversation between Gon and Killua. The slight pining/drifting thoughts Gon had (is that pining?) I could write in a second haha i'm going to die here. Thank you for reading!


	4. The Key.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Kurapika meet up with Hisoka. They certainly do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO FUNNY STORY TURNS OUT I REALLY LIKE WRITING THIS AND UHHH I GUESS I MANAGED THIS IN LIKE 3 DAYS???  
> Funny story II: This was originally meant to be Chapter 2. Yeah.
> 
> Oh yeah  
> TW: Pitou fight mention. Death. Hisoka (Yes it sounds funny but I'm being serious. Hisoka being Hisoka warrants a TW). Many things happen in Gon's head.

Gon was already dozing off, when the bus lulled itself into a stop in front of the last thing keeping the general public safe from the Zoldycks. The guide's voice rung out, the same familiar lilt in her tone that they had heard the first time after the Hunter Exams. Kurapika jolted up at the sound, eyes steeled with unfortunate memory and a pure desire for some revenge he had found so long ago, soon placated by Gon's rhythmic breathing. It was unfortunate that he would have to cut the song short, if only because he felt bad for disturbing his much needed rest. His face fell to a weight that should be completely foreign to a boy his age, one that Kurapika recognised all too well. His phone rung out, the fifth time today, and Kurapika let it play out. He wouldn't let whoever was on the other end see what he had become. Gon's face shifted slightly in the noise, that permeating drag unmoving. _Whatever happened to him at NGL must have weighed on his heart terribly._

Gon felt his shoulder being rustled. His eyes, laden with sleep and something that may amount to a slowly reforming dread, blinked wide. 

"Gon, we're here." Soft, and reassuring. Gon could lean into that voice and sleep again. To be fair to him, he could lean into any voice and do the exact same. _Mostly any..._

"It's 4:15. Gon, are you awake?" Kurapika's voice chimed, a lot easier to listen to than most others. _Did he just say 4:15?_

Gon jolted at that thought. Kurapika chuckled quietly to himself as the smaller boy worked himself into a panic before finally deciding to exit the bus.

"I assume you two will be staying here again?" the tour guide mused. It turns out that she had remembered Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio's first time to the Zoldyck Estate.

"Again? I never knew my friends had such... _history_ together." Gon froze to the spot. He knew who that voice was coming from, he knew where it was coming from. He could feel those narrowed eyes burning into the back of his head, trailing downwards.

"There are others here. Our business doesn't concern them." Kurapika spoke up, and Hisoka's eyes widened in surprise. Confused onlookers let themselves get lost in the conversation, before the tour guide started again.

"Awww, there's no need to be like that, Kurapika. Besides, my little friend here never told me he was bringing his own. Where are the other three, my peach?" Gon tensed at the words Hisoka had teased out at the end.

"I-I don't know..." his mind drifted slightly, _were his friends okay? Why did Hisoka care so much? **Why did Hisoka say "three"?**_

"Hisoka, what did you mean by 'three'?" Gon's voice was darker, more rigid. Kurapika could feel each word running up and down his bones.

"Oh? Didn't you know? Your friend Killua has a l--"

"Shut up. I know that, but how do _you?"_

"In due time, my peach, in due time. Oh look, it seems like someone is due theirs now." Gon and Kurapika looked around frantically, and settled on someone hassling Zebro for the keys to the small gate. Gon had already practically forgotten his interactions with Hisoka.

"Mr Zebro! How are you?" Some heads turned towards Gon, now showing a seemingly unusual friendliness with the Zoldyck groundskeeper.

"Gon! How good it is to see you! I assume you're here to see Master Killua? He hasn't been back for months. Sometimes I worry for him..." Zebro's voice trailed off into worry. The Hunter beside him hassled him further.

"Are ya gonna hand 'em to me or what, geezer?!" Zebro flinched as trails of saliva flew off of his face, now bright red. The groundskeeper dismissively threw him the keys, and everyone else watched in silent anticipation as the gate creaked open and shut behind the irate Hunter. The tour guide hurriedly asked everyone back into the bus, not responding to Gon and Kurapika's out of place tranquility.

"Actually, I'm here to meet up with someone."

"Is it by any chance the strange clown I saw a few minutes ago? He's been here for hours, and I have to say, I do not appreciate his eyes." _Yeah, join the club._ Gon and Kurapika thought in unison, before horrid screams filled the air that seeped from the crack in the door. It seemed like Mike had found the man. All four of them, including Hisoka, shrugged it off, as he made himself known.

"What was that, _sir?_ " Hisoka's voice dripped with bloodlust, Gon's vision curled in on itself around him, as he remembered the feeling of pure and utter fragility in the undefended wake of hateful Ren. His eyes widened, and his chest felt tight. So tight, like he was going to be crushed under the weight of his malice, and so he had no choice but to fall to his knees. Hisoka, noting this, pulled back. He was here to help, after all.

"Gon. Show me how you've developed. You must have grown after that ordeal with... oh what was her name? _Neferpitou_ was it?" The jester gestured to the Testing Gates, malice seeping from the calm purr that accompanied his voice.

"Never mention that name, Hisoka." Gon rose from his knees, which were bruised from a minute ago, and started towards the Gate. When he first opened it, he had to lean his whole body weight on it and push from his feet first. _Not much should have changed from then to now._ Gon thought. 

Zebro moved in, ready to catch him. Gon readied his arms, dug his legs into the ground, and fell through. The screeching hull of the doors could be heard by the tour bus which was, by now, well on it's way back to the town. Gon opened his eyes to see hinself hovering over the ground. _Zebro caught me? I must still not be strong enough to open the..._ his thought was cut short when he looked upwards. He could see nothing but trees, nothing at all but the trees on Kukuroo Mountain. He looked to his side and saw that not one, nor two, but _four gates had been opened._

"What?! What just happened?!" Gon hasn't had the chance to see his physical strength develop, but _surely I couldn't have done this?_ Gon looked behind him as his thought left the proverbial station and was promptly taken off the rails when he saw both Kurapika and Hisoka standing there, spitting vitriol at each other.

"Kurapika, did you see that?" Kurapika could feel Gon's excitement over his own bubbling anger at the now-decomissioned Spider. He turned to look at him and his mouth hung, voice caught on a syllable as it processed both the trees in front of him, and the gust of wind that only four gates could produce. Hisoka hummed to himself, his interest was piqued, and his... _interest had peaked_ for lack of a better word.

"Gon, just how much did you train after we parted?" Kurapika's eyes were blown wide in shock, having not known about his physical prowess, or why it happened in the first place. Gon didn't know either.

"A lot, but I don't remember being this strong! The last time I remember having..."

That voice again. That damned voice. Gon pushed through, his friend deserved to know.

"...The last time I remember having this strength... was when I made my Covenant." Kurapika's eyes began to glow furiously. For Gon to become this strong off of a Nen Covenant...

"What was the covenant? Gon, please." He tried to cut through Gon's unnatural quiet. Gon himself began to shake, again.

"I... I used everything. I used it all..." 

"What do you mean by that? What did you say?"

"Exactly that. And I did, I used it all. Every inch of my life, my Nen, my strength, was... was used to make a girl fear for her life. It was used to make her beg and die in fear. It was used to beat her unconscious and keep on going until she became a stain on the floor. It was used so I could vent my frustrations moreso than revenge, and it didn't even do that. I should be dead, but--" Gon stopped dead. His ramblings would be the death of everyone, he wouldn't mind if it were only him, but Killua, Alluka, and Nanika's lives hung on him shutting up right now.

"Kurapika, I used up everything. can't use Nen anymore because I used everything. I've been reduced to a normal person again because I _keep screwing up_ , now can everyone please stop it?" 

Those last words fell out like a petulant child had said them, but they carried a weight no boy of 13 should hold.

"Hmm, yes that's all well and good, Gon. But need I remind you that you fell through that door. That wasn't everything, was it?" Hisoka mused, rather uncaringly.

Gon, realising this, stood up, face still wet, and tried again. Focusing on gradual force, the first gate let. Then the second, third, and fourth. Gon hadn't strained yet. In fact, Gon now could make it to gate Six. 

"Impressive, very impressive!" Hisoka once agsin chirped, neatly skirting past the bundled up trauma that had poured from Gon. "But that isn't why you are here, is it?" Hisoka held out a key on a chain he was wearing. "You are here for one of these, aren't you?"

Gon instinctually ambled towards Hisoka, before letting him explain. Hisoka himself noted this.

"Ah ah ah... This is not for you." Gon's confusion tripled on the spot. "What I hold in my hands is my own path to freedom. This is my Covenant Key."

Gon, upon hearing this, did nothing, as Hisoka had not yet explained the existance of the Covenant Key. Kurapika narrowed his eyes. He swore he heard something about a Covenant Key before...

"Allow me to explain. Both of you. What is your biggest fear?"

Kurapika instantly, almost reflexively answered: "The thought of anything happening to what remains of my family." Gon was not as quick. Hisoka was getting impatient so he changed the question.

"Okay, first of all, what are you most passionate about?"

"My friends!" Gon answered as if any other answer was heretical. Hisoka tried to tease a further, specific answer.

"Who is your best friend?" He already knew, otherwise he wouldn't bring them up to the Testing Gates.

"Killua of course! We've been through so much together. The Arena, Greed Island, The Ants..." 

_I wish Killua were here. Not here here, but closeby. Calling him doesn't feel the same... It feels colder... I want him to be here with me, so I can see his smile again. His eyes, so full of wonder for a life left unlived... I want to show him that, and I want to be with him._ Hisoka's mumbling snapped him out of his ramble. _Is that normal?_ Gon thought to himself.

"And what would happen if Killua were to get hurt?"

Gon didn't want to think about that. Hisoka pushed the knife.

"What if he was starved? Poisoned? Chained up and whipped? How would you feel then?"

Gon _really_ did not want to think about thst. Hisoka asked the question.

"Do you fear it?"

"Yes." Gon muttered, through ragged breath and clouded thoughts. His body screamed at him to say it louder. That's when it suddenly clicked. Why he was called to Padokea. 

"The key is in the place of your worst fear. Once you have it, you'll know what to do next. The key itself has a certain... pull to it. Goodbye my peach, my green fruit."

Kurapika shivered. The thought of his key sent fearful vibrations up and down his spine, which were cut short by Gon opening gate 4 again.

"Do you want to come with me, Kurapika?" and without thinking, Kurapika was right by his side, watching the gate close behind them. Gon shouted to the other side.

"THANK YOU MR ZEBRO, HISOKA!"

It felt odd to thank Hisoka, but thanks to him, Gon knew where he was going again. This time, to the Zoldyck dungeons.

Kurapika noticed a pair of eyes hidden away in the bushes, and shrugged it off. _Zoldycks._ he thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOTDAM THESE MFS GAY HHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> also gon got hurt by me again im not sure why i keep doing this.
> 
> BUT I BET YOU WERENT EXPECTING THE GATES WOOOOO WE NEED OP GON
> 
> Oh yeah, thus starts my way of circumventing nearly every bad thing that happened in Chimera Ant, and quite a bit of HxH in general. I hope you are all ready for the biggest personal wish fulfillment fic since *tries to think of funny blatant wish fulfillment fanfic* Nenarchy. WAIT N
> 
> I jest. Thank you, so much, for reading this, leaving kudos, and commenting. It means the world to me that people are picking up my work.
> 
> Also if things seem badly paced or rushed, please note it is 1 AM and I just wrote about 2/3 of this chapter today lmao.


	5. Unto the Breach.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Kurapika enter a familiar, hostile territory. Gon enters an unfamiliar, yet still just as hostile territory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK WOW I WASNT EXPECTING THAT. I DEFINITELY DID NOT EXPECT IT TO BE THAT WELL RECIEVED, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Also sorry if some characters are inconsistent with canon/are out of character.
> 
> TW: Vague abuse mentions throughout.  
> Death threat kinda.

The gate swung shut behind them. Gon and Kurapika looked to their side to see Zebro awkwardly collecting the bones that Mike left. They turned to leave, but not before noticing a small bit of paper on his back. Gon thought nothing of it, but Kurapika could see something around it. Despite that, he thought it best to move on.

"Gon?" Kurapika's face remained one of concern.

"Hmm?" Gon hadn't yet come into focus, he was too intent on the walk up to the gate.

"Did you see anything strange on Zebro?"

"Yeah, we both saw that paper tag, right? I thought it was just a scrap."

"Oh, of course. Gon, that tag had Nen around it. Someone's done something to Zebro."

"What? But he was perfectly fine there?" Gon looked at Kurapika, both faces stricken now with worry.

"It obviously hasn't hurt him. The edges of the paper were slightly worn."

"So, who do you think it was?"

"I remember seeing an ability like that around a month ago. When I was fighting with the Troupe." Kurapika was now bleeding with fear. He didn't want Gon to get muddled up in his affairs. It wasn't right.

"Does that mean the Phantom Troupe are after you still? But how would they have found..." Gon trailed off. _Hisoka? No... **Illumi.**_

"No, it can't have been him. His ability is needles... Who uses paper?" Gon's ears were burning red, ready for his head to spontaneously combust. Kurapika moved ahead, his eyes flared.

"Gon, remember what Killua said? That boy is Kalluto Zoldyck, a member of the Phantom Troupe, a master of paper-craft." A rustle in the leaves startled both of them out of their conversation. A young boy stepped out from behind the foliage. Gon remembered him from the last time. Him and the deadly stare his mother gave. 

"Hello? I remember you... What are you doing here?" a soft voice, familiar. Kalluto's voice. The same voice that didn't know friends.

"I have something I need to do here." Gon replied, confident, yet caring towards him. Kalluto flinched slightly. _A caring voice begets a cruel violence._ That was something he had learned to deal with over the years. That was why he had become so quiet. A word from him became room for the caring voice. The Spiders never spoke with the caring voice, that was why he valued them. He became able to talk again.

"Are you okay?" Kalluto was confused. _What is behind that voice?_ "I won't tell anyone. I promise." Gon pressed on. Kalluto listened to the papers, and heard silence. Memories of his big brother, Killua's torture flashed in his head. He caught a glimpse of him when he was leaving with the two in front of him. _There was someone else there, but that was besides the point. Killua looked so... happy there. So unabashedly happy. Perhaps, if I go along, I can feel like that?_ His thoughts coaxing him, he gave in, shaking his head slowly, watching his smooth black hair fall in front of his face rhythmically, his head pulled slightly by it.

"They want me to take over." Both Gon and Kurapika were taken aback. It was exactly as Killua said. They will want Kalluto to become the head, and they will make him a suitable successor, like what they did to Killua years ago. "They're trying so hard to make me suitable, but it hurts." He looked downwards, at his feet, shifting under his kimono. 

Gon and Kurapika look forwards, past the youngest Zoldyck, and press onwards. Kalluto turns around to see Gon beckoning him to follow. He didn't know why, but he felt compelled to follow. He saw the back of them, and remembered how Killua followed them like this. Always close, always alongside them. The Zoldycks were never accustomed to closeness, at least, not natural, pulled closeness. The only time anyone was close to them was when they were being threatened... _Come to think of it, I was always close to Mama..._

Kalluto could hear a tag starting to echo footsteps, ones that doubled as their own. They were getting close to someone. He reached into his kimono to find his paper cutout chain. _Canary._ He could hear her tense her arms, the fabric of her uniform wrapped tighter around her shoulders, the soles of her shoes dragged into the ground as she readied herself.

Canary watched the path ahead of her, breath caught in her throat as if it were made of brick. _The family had been on high alert for a while, and many Pro Hunters were around and looking for some sort of fight with the Zoldycks It was only natural considering all of the things Killua had been getting up to, it had brought the Zoldycks to the forefront of many bounty Hunter's minds. Many of said hunters were introduced to Nen and multiple basic assassination techn--_

Her thoughts were cut short by familiar blond hair peeking over the miniature horizon made by the curve of the hill. Following closely were those green tipped spikes most Hunters and civilians alike had come to know. He was talking to Master Kalluto. _Master Kalluto?!_

"What are you doing here again? Master Killua has left with Mistress Alluka already." Canary tried to map out what was going on but _Gon wasn't exactly going to give any sort of straight answer, was he?_

A slightly mischievous smirk spreading on his face confirmed her suspicions. "Nice to see you too, Canary!" He sarcastically remarked.

"Ah, sorry. How are you both? Is everything well?" Canary backed herself up to where a conversation would traditionally start. Her own stress was getting the better of her and it was causing conversations to become difficult. Too much of her mind was taken up by the wellbeing of Killua and Alluka for her to focus.

"I was kidding! But, thank you. I'm doing well." Kurapika glanced at him, and back to Canary as if to say _"Not the time."_ Canary understood immediately, and Kurapika couldn't help but smile at that.

"Anyway, Master Kalluto, are you well?" _That same voice again..._ Kalluto thought. His feet idly shifted, and he found himself with a shoulder behind Kurapika's leg. Canary furrowed her brow in confusion. "Master Kalluto? Are you alright?" And the boy nodded quietly from where he stood. _Why are these voices so persistent?_ His thoughts were again cut short. Gon spoke up.

"Do you mind if we come in?" Gon's naïveté was showing again, and Canary wasn't about to feed it further.

"I'm terribly sorry, but the Family has requested that no guests are to enter the house under threat of their immediate deaths. Her words, not mine. Why? What do you need?" Kurapika responded to the formalised monologue that Canary had most likely said many times before.

"Killua asked us to save Kalluto. We're here to help him." Kalluto looked up at Kurapika, eyes wide with something that ran parallel to relief, and just to the side of wonder. To put it simply, there was a glow in the boy's eye. Canary saw the way the leaves and the sun through it got brighter in his glass black pupils, and she warmed a bit. _Wait..._

"But Master Kalluto is right there? Surely you can't have business in the house if your business is as simple as that?"

"We're kind of multitasking here," Gon again, "we came to Zoldyck Mansion per orders of Illumi's friend. _I_ came here under those orders. I need to find something that could help me be stronger!" Gon's enthusiasm wasn't given much room to shine in that rather bleak picture, but somehow, like water in rock, it found a way.

"I might be able to g--"

"No. I have to do this."

"Okay? Can you at least tell me where it is that you plan to go?"

"When Killua came back here, where was he put? Where was he made to hurt?"

"That... You can't know that! How can you know that?" Gon's face had twisted. He had had enough.

"The point is, we do. Where was he being kept? Please, Canary." She could feel the unnatural cold hover on every word spoken.

"I-I can take you to the Dungeons. That's where he was kept by his mother..."

Kurapika tensed up. No longer could he feel what rustled the leaves, and sung between each branch. A different song was being played now, one of an acrid silence. The sounds of any fallen leaf or tilted blade of grass was dampened now. Gon, naturally, could tell that something was off. He couldn't see it though, Kurapika noticed that by how his head jerked violently to no avail. Kalluto behind him began to shake. Gon's body stilled into a fighting stance as he saw someone over Canary's shoulder. Canary herself closed her eyes to hide their waver.

"Don't worry yourself, boy. Unlike my children, I don't bare my claws so easily." The old man behind Canary began to speak. "I must ask, though. How did a child of your stature make it past Mike?"

Gon, realising who the man in front of him was, froze. Not out of fear, but put of respect. 

"It's you... Killua's grandfather. You stood alongside Chairman Netero in the fight against the Chimera Ants, didn't you?" His face lit up in awe at the man, Zeno Zoldyck.

"Ah, are you the boy that Killua kept talking about? Yes, that makes a lot more sense now. To remain at his side through the past year means that you must be strong, yes?"

Gon stopped listening a few seconds ago. _"the boy Killua kept talking about"_ His thoughts were spinning around that one sentence. Kurapika's eyes rolled so hard you'd swear they weren't real. "Gon, focus." before a swift hand landed on the back of his head, knocking him out of his overreaction.

"Ow! What was that for?!" Zeno cleared his throat, and Gon turned back to him.

"I assume you are here for something, then. Not many people who can open the gate come to the Zoldycks without an intention."

"They're looking to enter the dungeons, Master Zeno." Canary turned, rigid.

Zeno's eyebrows raised. "Are you sure it would be wise for both of you? Little Kalluto is trembling behind you." Kurapika put a reassuring hand on Kalluto's shoulder. It didn't help him. Gon spoke again, realising his implications.

"Kurapika, I think it would be best if you waited outside with Kalluto and Canary." The old man smiled. _How selfless. Letting his friends stay out of danger by going in himself._ He thought to himself, before beckoning.

"Come then, Gon. Allow me to give you a tour."

Kurapika grabbed Gon's hand as he motioned to leave. "Come back, okay? We all want to see you again." Fully understanding where he was going. Gon responded by pulling his hand away and shaking Kurapikas.

"Don't worry about me. I'll come back, I promise." Gon bent down to Kalluto's level. "I'll be back, and then we can get out of here, okay?" Kalluto nodded, and smiled ever so slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me when a literal god amongst nen users stands in front of me but i'm too busy thinking about my boyfriend hhjhj what have I done to Gon?
> 
> Please don't worry about Kallu, he'll get to go with Killu and Allu soon. Maybe I could have a big reunion scene idk
> 
> ALSO HHHHHH IM SO BAD FOR SPLITTING CHAPTERS UP THIS CHAPTER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GON FINDING THE KEY OOPS
> 
> Thank you for following this trainwreck haha. It means a lot to me when you read this.
> 
> Quick sidenote: Kura♦️Gon sorry i dont make the rules (if you get that i am legally obligated to end you /j)


	6. The Cats Cradle.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon is given a tour of the Mansion by none other than Zeno Zoldyck! How nice of him!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you for sticking along if you are still here. I tried to write characters well but I don't think I managed to, idk. Sorry it took so long from the last one, I found this one a bit tougher to write because of slow brain. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> TW: Pressure. Serious pressure. Gon is under pressure a LOT this chapter. Also lol more Pitou and Kite mentions because I can't stop myself, with a lot heavier focus on death ideation. I promise I won't mention it as much later on. Also mild talk of Killua's undergoings with the Zoldycks.

Kurapika felt Zeno's En field reduce, and sighed. His breath colliding with the winds which had taken their own space back from the stillness. As Gon faded into the distance, however, he couldn't help but worry about his situation. He didn't want to leave the premises for Gons sake, but he didn't want to stay either, for Kallutos. Canary could tell that he was stuck in thought.

"Would you like to stay at the butler's house for a little while?" She offered to the two. Kurapika looked down, and saw that Kalluto had stopped shaking. He could tell that the boy wanted to move, anywhere but here.

"That would be nice. Thank you Canary."

Gon followed Zeno up towards the mansion. The fractal of brick indented into thick layers of paint on it's surface overpowered him. His head was spinning until the old man next to him snapped him back with a question.

"Tell me, was, or rather, _is_ Killua... happy?"

"We haven't seen each other in a while, sir. We parted ways during the recent Hunter Chairman's election, but when we were still travelling together, I think he was."

"Mmm, that's nice to hear. Is she safe?" Gon fell silent. _What do I do? A Zoldyck just asked me about Alluka and Nanika... Killua confided in me about her because he trusts me..._ Gon's panicked thoughts had wormed their way onto his face. Zeno snapped him out once again. "You don't have to worry about her. I'm not really interested in her in the way my grandson is." Gon hesitated again, before swallowing a lump that had caught in his throat.

"S-she's fine... Killua's with her..." Zeno raised his eyebrow at the boy's stuttering. _It must be something close to both of them..._ His concerns echoed in his face. Silence fell between them until they approached the door.

"Master Zeno! With respect, who is that you've brought with you?" One of the butlers at the door looked at Gon with what can only be described as bewilderment. 

"Calm yourself. This is the boy Killua spoke so highly of. I am simply showing him around."

The butler bowed, and proceeded to open the doors behind him. The ornate wood opened out onto a wide room, ornate white pillars held up the walls, and the floor trailed off into two staircases at either end of the room, meeting up in the middle at a balcony, where Gon saw a painting of the Zoldyck family. His eyes honed in on Killua, who had what he can only assume to be his father's hand running through his hair. Next to him was Kalluto. The rest were dismissed by him as he searched the painting for Alluka. Zeno could tell who he was looking for, and so wasn't surprised when his face curled up in anger. Gon knew better than to speak about it, however. Zeno started.

"The Zoldycks are a prestigious family dealing in assassination. The practice has gone on for generations, and as a result, our lineage is exceptionally powerful. As you most likely saw of me and my old friend Isaac." Gon had been led into the first of what he assumed was many lounge rooms around the house, gargantuan as it was. A bright red carpet decorated with intricate golden threads was laid out over a brilliant checkerboard floor tile. A humble fire whispered into the chimney, it's words becoming sounds on the ash that rose from the top, their meanings lost in the char that pooled from the column into the coals. Gon became entranced for the embarrassingly small amount of time he spent looking at it before the elder Zoldyck led him through.

"I've never heard your full name, you know?" Zeno chatted idly into the air, very obviously pointed at Gon regardless. Gon stammered, caught off guard out of another idle thought.

"Freeccs. Gon Freeccs, sir." Zeno raised his eyebrow at that name. He sighed, and closed his eyes slightly.

"I remember another Freeccs... Ging I believe his name was." Gon's eyes lit up, then lowered slightly as his father's words echoed through him again. He pushed that to one side, though.

"You know my dad? What was he like?"

"Know him? He's the only thing my son ever talked about! From what I'd heard, he was very headstrong like you. He never had many people, but the ones he did have, he cared for deeply. Come, I would like you to meet him. I am sure he would like to meet you, too." Zeno walked off with the slightest spring in his step. Gon followed, skipping every third. He noticed a door ajar to his left, and glanced inside as he went past. _Killua wasn't wrong,_ he thought to himself, _he really does look like a pig._ Gon remained silent. 

Zeno stopped in front of another imposing door. Gon stared up as the slabs of wood seemed to curl and bend above him. He watched as the shape warped and contorted into his personal space and each intricately cut leaf or spiral in the piece seemed to come apart from the door and weave themselves into some hypnotic motion. He was snapped out of his trance by a sharp knock at the door, and an even sharper voice behind it.

"Come in."

As the door creaked open, the first thing Gon noticed is that the only light in the room came from behind them. The second thing is how the light caught in the deep nebulae of the man's eyes in front of him. His pupils were drawn to points like a cats eye.

"Old man, who is that with you?" Silva Zoldyck's eyes darted down at Gon, razors at the tip of each pupil bled any and all information dry. _That hair..._ Zeno began.

"Remember the boy that Killua kept talking about?" There is was again. _Killua kept talking about me._ Gon's brain was spinning in his skull again, only stopped when Silva spoke further.

"You know, I had a feeling that he would look like that." He mused to Zeno, who smiled back. "What is your name, boy?" Silva spoke in a tone that said _I already know but I want to hear it from you._

"G-Gon, sir. Gon Freeccs." Gon was trembling under the frightful pressure of Silva's presence alone, but Silva himself just sat there, wide-eyed. 

"Freeccs? As in 'Ging Freeccs' Freeccs? You're his son?"

"You know my father, Mr. Zoldyck?" Gon did his best to swallow his nerves. It was made a bit easier by the familiarity of the topic.

"Know him? I was one of his only friends up until he made that game."

"Really? What was he like back then?"

Silva offered him a seat in the room. Zeno also took a seat, much to Silva's exasperation. Gon and Silva got to talking, about Ging, about Killua, about really anything that came to mind. Some time passed between them, and Silva brought up something that had been bothering him about Ging's son for a while.

"I'm surprised that you managed to open the Testing Gate, seeing as you don't have Nen." Gon stopped.

"What do you mean?"

"Your aura nodes, they're all shut."

Gon was silent for a moment. Silva spoke up again.

"Ah, pardon my manners. I don't know if you understand what I'm going on about. It's no--"

"No, you're right. My aura nodes are all shut. They have been for a while now."

Zeno looked up for the first time in a while.

"Boy. What did you do?"

"Zeno, sir. After you left the fight at NGL, I went to fight the Chimera Ant Neferpitou. One of my..." Gon slowed down before correcting himself, his eyes tracing the paths between each tile lining the floor. "Ging's friends, Kite. He died at the hands of that Royal Guard, and I ended up fighting for his sake. Well, to say 'ended up' is a bit of a lie. Pitou lied to me about being able to bring him back, and so I lost it. I ended up making a Covenant, collapsing all of my life's power into destroying that Ant. I paid the price, and to tell you the truth, I should have died." Gon's eyes watered as he let out his memories of that day for what felt like the hundredth time.

"We remember that part. You were very lucky that my son was willing to do so much for you." Gon didn't let this confession of how much Killua cared about him sink in before speaking again.

"I know, I was so, _so lucky._ I didn't, haven't deserved to know Killua since the day we met. How he can forgive and want to save an overemotional, petulant, suicidal child like me, I will never be able to understand." Gon's cheeks flared as he realised just how much Killua meant to him. The scene currently unfolding before him, that is to say, him professing just how much of a crush he has on the snow touched boy _to said boy's parents_ never occured to him, until Silva spoke again.

"You want your life back. The life you gave so that nobody else would have to die at their hands. That is an honourable reason to die if I had ever heard one." His voice cut though Gon's head - now empty. Made hollow by the emptying of thought and emotion onto the shining marble floor, and made still by the realisation of the situation he just put himself in.

"But... that's not..."

"Whatever you did, it does not matter. Whatever you felt when you did it, it does not matter. What does matter, is that you were willing to go so far to protect the the people closest to you. You were willing to shoulder the anguish of everyone else and make it so they never had to see the one who brought it upon them."

Gon looked up at Silva, who was now staring at him with a steeled determination. His hazel eyes were blown wide in shock. He had never thought of it that way.

"The Zoldyck Library has information on Nen, practices, covenants, Keys, Trials, everything. Old man, can you take him there?"

"And for how long have you been in a position to make such demands of me?"

Silva and Zeno began their back and forth, when Gon chirped up again.

"Now I remember. Mr. Zoldyck. I know where my key is."

Silva's eyes darted back towards Gon. Gon's face was full of that same determination he wore a minute ago.

"My key is in your dungeons. I need to get down there." Gon's eyes sighed, and smiled within themselves, as if saying _'You and I both know exactly why.'_

Silva stood up, and approached Gon, who was only just now realising how small he actually was.

"After what happened some months ago, I no longer see Killua fit to lead the Zoldyck business. I have no reason for him to suffer in those halls again. You have my word, you earned it." Silva extended a hand, which Gon took, the slightest, indistinguishable hint of triumphalism shivering from his back and around his shoulders. "Gon Freeccs. I wish you luck on your trial, and I hope you and Killua find each other again soon, on equal ground."

Gon beamed at Silva, his eyes were sealed shut by the force of his smile escaping him. _Even his smile is like his fathers..._

"Thank you Mr. Zoldyck!" Gon watched as Zeno slowly walked towards the door, beckoning for him to follow. He had somewhere to be, but not before understanding what it was he was about to go through with.

Silva smiled to himself as Gon and Zeno left. _This is partially for Killua isn't it? He is so lucky to have a friend so devoted to him._ He kept his thoughts to himself. _Well... I say 'friend', but that isn't strictly true, is it Freeccs?_ He chuckled to himself at Gon's inability to hide his emotions, and the door shut in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER WAS MEANT TO BE GON GETTING THE KEY AND TRYING TO GET OUT BUT STORY BRAIN SAID HAHA NO 3 MORE CHAPTERS FOR THAT
> 
> ALSO KURAPIKA AND KALLUTO HAVENT BEEN FORGOTTEN ABOUT THEY WILL BECOME IMPORTANT
> 
> I really should have let off caps before but monkey brain said "no, in too deep now." Anyway, thank you for all of the support this has been getting! It means the world to me that people are enjoying this (hopefully) as much as I do.


	7. Hazard And Hospitality.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened whilst Gon was dropping all of the spaghetti?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI ALL! Sorry if this chapter is kinda late or bad or rambly. I had little actual drive to write this one until like today. This chapter was inspired partially by my desire to keep my descriptive skills sharp so thank them. Also curse them for my inability to write dialogue, which this chapter is heavy on.
> 
> TW: Massive dumbass huge recap starts at the * and ends at the end of the chapter. Just in case anyone doesn't want to hear about the sources of everyone's emotional states. Death mention. More CE mentions (those two kinda go hand in hand don't they?)

_About 2 hours ago._

Kurapika felt Zeno's En field reduce, and sighed. His breath colliding with the winds which had taken their own space back from the stillness. As Gon faded into the distance, however, he couldn't help but worry about his situation. He didn't want to leave the premises for Gons sake, but he didn't want to stay either, for Kallutos. Canary could tell that he was stuck in thought.

"Would you like to stay at the butler's house for a little while?" She offered to the two. Kurapika looked down, and saw that Kalluto had stopped shaking. He could tell that the boy wanted to move, anywhere but here.

"That would be nice. Thank you Canary."

"We should probably wait here for a bit though. Master Zeno doesn't like people following him, and I'm sure Gon wouldn't want you to worry about him." Canary looked up at Kurapika, his eyes reflecting a sky bathed in hues of red. "Or rather, _know you were already._ " Her attempt at humour had fallen flat at his feet. Kurapika smiled anyway.

"What happened while you were all away?" Canary, unknowingly, began peering into the largest collective wound shared between the four. Kurapika, upon giving it some thought, began.

"Where do you want me to start?" Kurapika chuckled as the words came out bone dry and Canary stared on, her face wracked with sorrow.

"You don't have to. Look, Gon and Master Zeno have left now, do you want to go?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes that would be nice." Kurapika and Kalluto followed Canary in silence for a few seconds, before Kurapika began again. "You know, I wasn't joking when I said that."

"What do you mean?" Canary stopped briefly.

"Where do you want me to start?" The scarlet in his eyes flashed for a second, melancholic, pale.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kurapika. I don't wish for you to think of--" Canary was cut off by a more vibrant vermillion. Resolve behind his pupils. Kalluto stared up, mesmerised.

"Canary, I need to do this. It's been too long since I talked to someone that wasn't Gon, Killua, or Leorio about this."

"Isn't it close to you then? Too close for me to pry."

"No, I've held on to it far too long to care about that." A moment of weakness for Kurapika. Canary decided it would be best to tide it over until they were somewhere still.

"We should probably talk about this when we're at the mansion. It would be better over something to drink, wouldn't you agree?" She tried to distract him, she wouldn't allow him to let go of all of this when he wasn't completely calm and focused. It didn't feel right to her.

"I understand. Please." Kurapika nodded at Canary, who smiled softly and started again. The trees approached ceaselessly and passed by in an instant, akin to traversing a endless parallax illusionary corridor of a Sierpinski Triangle, unfolding to a point into forever, but never revealing a destination. Kurapika held his thought on that, mostly to dispel the rapidly fluctuating sanguine hues that mark the Kurta. His focus was broken by the approach of the building. Not much was taken in by him, but one thing that did burn was the tightening around his left hand. Kurapika looked down to see Kalluto, his eyes had turned down towards the floor, averting any and all potential gazes directed at him through the windows.

"Canary, who are they?" Another butler had rung out into the middle distance, with a quiet violence directed harshly at her. Canary recoiled slightly, and looked back at Kurapika. His left arm was wrapped back behind him. Kalluto's kimono was just barely visible and recognisable. Just so that it was pointless tryng to hide him for his own sake.

"An old friend of Killua's came around, so I offered to bring them in. Master Kalluto was following along so I offered for him to come with us." Canary looked back at the taller man, as if pleading him to play along. 

Kurapika smiled, and looked down at Kalluto, hiding his mildly tinged eyes, going a warm coral, which calmed down the younger boy slightly.

"Outsiders shouldn't be in here. You and I both know this."

"One of his friends passed by here about ten minutes ago."

"Why didn't you notify us?"

"He was being escorted by Master Zeno."

Canary's eyebrow raised and a smug smile washed over her face as the other butler stammered, face bright red, and opened the door.

The blackened orange shine of the wood gave way to a large open room. A window casted warm beams of sun through the air, caught on the dust specks that occupied the space between one person and the next. Their slow, randomised movements in the wake of the window shone in Kurapika's eyes and gave the whole scene a feeling of timelessness. It was as if this room was the last bastion against the forces of entropy, closing in and burning everything around it into chaos, whilst these beige walls, lined with wooden supports, insulated order over a deep forest green carpet, each fiber flattened by years of pressure, cushioning the impact of rubber and leather against a floor long since made unknowable. 

Canary was already walking off to a side room. When she looked back at Kurapika, only Kalluto met her gaze. He looked up at the dazed man, and shook his arm slightly to bring him back from his wide eyed admiration of the atmosphere. He shook his head, blond straights falling into his eyes, looked down at the youngest Zoldyck, both confused. His eyes were guided by Kalluto to Canary, who was waiting for them. He found Kurapika's quiet apology amusing, and let a smile form, even just for a second. When the taller man moved, he stuck to him like glue. 

In the next room, Canary sat down at an ornate wooden table, its laquer giving off a golden shine when it caught the sunlight. The room was smaller, there was a bookcase in the far corner. A plush armchair rested beside it, next to a small desk holding a single chain lamp, for late night reading. Kalluto immediately ran over to it and made himself comfortable. A velvet ribbon bookmark hidden halfway inside a large, black leather spine had spun vibrant tyrian shades into Kalluto's eyes. The pages, tipped with golden microfoils, sparkled in the mid-afternoon air, mixing with the warm scents of vanilla and old books that filled the nostrils of all three people in the room, and graced the backs of their windpipes because such a scent can't help but fill every iota of space it was allowed to occupy. Kalluto revelled in the tranquility, whilst Canary and Kurapika took seats across from each other at the table. Kurapika glanced over at the scene, his face going softer. Canary set out a full teaset she had collected from the other room, already prepared. She already knew how Kurapika liked his tea, it was a requirement of being a butler after all.

Kurapika, upon seeing the cup set out for him, thanked Canary profusely. It had been a long time since someone had made him anything like this. She spoke, the corners of her lips falling closer to each other before hiding behind the cup she had for herself.

"I'd like you to start at when you left the Zoldyck Estate. If it isn't too much to ask?"

Kurapika was taken aback slightly by her sudden forwardness, but obliged.

*

"Oh, alright then." His eyes flashed through that same reflective scarlet. "Before we entered the Zoldyck estate, one of the Spiders, a now excommunicated member, Hisoka, gave me word of the Troupe's meeting at Yorknew City, on the first day of that September. Leorio, the taller one," The scarlet faltered slightly, if only for a moment. "mentioned that he was going to split off and start training to become a doctor. It's funny, the one person to get closest to the thing we all need, and nobody can bring themselves to talk to him."

"One thing you all need?" Canary didn't follow. Kurapika laughed to himself, as dry as the air.

"A therapist." Canary made a mostly unsuccessful attempt to stifle her own laughter. Kurapika lightened up slightly. "Gon and Killua stayed together. The next I had heard of them was when they made it to floor 200-something of the Heaven's Arena. That was around the time that I learned Nen. Gon had fought against Hisoka recently after recovering from several broken bones... It's a miracle he was able to put up a fight." Kurapika's throat had gone hoarse, he put the teacup to his lips and let it clear his voice.

"That sounds horrible... I'm sorry." Canary attempted to reconcile her actions towards Gon earlier.

"That was nothing for him. He got up from that in seconds. No, his goes deeper yet." Kurapika reassured, badly. "Whilst that happened, I was looking for a job as a bodyguard. I thought that if I placed myself at the heart of underground operations then I would get to the Troupe quicker. Thankfully, I was right, and my first job was to escort the fortune teller Neon Nostrade to Yorknew for the auction." Kurapika pauses.

He thinks.

"I... never got the satisfaction I wanted there. Two members died, but more took their place. I met up with my friends again, but we had to part. Nobody was better off afterwards, and the ringleader, Chrollo, got his Nen back anyway. Sure enough, I retrieved most of the Scarlet Eyes, but I didn't get them all. I ended up worse off than ever before, driven by white-knuckle rage and the death of two arrogant twisted people." His voice wavered slightly, but remained adamant.

"We split off again, I followed Melody and the Nostrades again, Leorio went off to study for his exams, and Gon and Killua ended up playing a game his dad made. After that, everything went downhill fast. What Gon never told one of us was that he did actually have a father figure in his life, a hunter named Kite." Canary flinched again. _The list of the Hunters' dead._ Kurapika picked up again.

"Kite was killed by a Chimera Ant, one of the strongest, so Gon, being an Enhancer, and also Gon, fought her alone. He ended up 'using everything' and so he ended up losing his mind, Nen, and life. It was only because of Killua that he could live, but he could never get anything else back. I've caught him drift off into apologetic murmurs multiple times. The first time I saw him again, he was whispering 'I'm sorry' getting stared at by a lobby full of people, and the second time he broke down crying. He, both of them have had it so hard. Killua is still on the run from Illumi, and he asked us to save Kalluto, he sounded so desperate." Kalluto, upon hearing this, perked his head up slightly. _Big Brother did what?_ Kurapika heard his stirring, and smiled under the weight of the deepening blood-red. Elsewhere, a butler picked up a phone.

"I kept on pursuing the Troupe, and collecting the Eyes back from those who had stolen them. Most of the Troupe is gone now, and the Kurta can finally be laid to rest, but I still feel horrible. I had built my life around revenge, let it shave off days, months of my life, and now? I have nothing but reminders of what I had given up." Kurapika let his phone, which had just started ringing, play out it's message. The sixth one today. Kurapika traced every word at the start with his own mouth, and hung onto every other one.

" **Kurapika, I know you probably won't respond but** I wanted to say that I miss you. Studying is going well, in case you might have asked..." The voice sighs. "I'm worried sick, Kurapika. I just want one response, so I know that you're okay. Please? Again, I miss you."

Canary was mortified. She never knew how bad the situation truly was, she bowed quickly.

"My apologies! I never knew that you had gone through all of that. Please allow me to make it up to you somehow."

"You already are." Canary shot her head up.

"How?"

"You're helping Gon, and Killua too." He gestured towards Kalluto, who was back with his nose in his book, and then openly. "Besides, you let me in, gave me my favourite tea, and let me vent my own frustrations after a year and a half."

Kalluto's paper chain started to speak again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry if this chapter ended up rambly but thank you anyway for sticking around! Every interaction is appreciated!
> 
> I also have a tumblr: chinchen-nustgrer. I don't do much in the way of fandom on there but I am there! Thank you again for reading.


	8. What You Really Need.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon reads about the systems at play within the Covenants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry if this seems a bit (read: very) rushed at the end. I really should start each chapter after posting the last. That's why it takes so long.
> 
> TW: Death Mentions. Megalophobia inducing language (maybe, putting anyway because i want to be safe.). Being Chased.

The doors slammed shut behind Gon. Zeno let the air fly past him, Gon flinched out of his thoughts, which had run away with him again.

"You had a lot of nerve there. Rather admirable. You're lucky you're Ging's son." He smirked to nobody in front of him.

"I couldn't let Killua get hurt here again. I needed to make sure that he wouldn't." Gon answered, letting his shivers wash through his body and out through his hands. Zeno started to walk, and he followed.

"He has a good set of friends. I'm happy for him." Honest words echoed through the halls, falling on the unjudging ears of portraits, framed in gold. Zeno took a right through a doorway that radiated a sort of warmth. Gon was greeted through the door by shelves of paper and information, climbing up and around every wall. The muted, unfamiliarly overwhelming scent of paper filled his lungs. Pillars of colour, lined with elaborate metallic paints, impressions of letters covering them, closed themselves around Gon, and blended into each other in a flurry of darkened hues and tinted sunlight. 

Zeno handed him a book, titled "Covenant Theory", several paper bookmarks were sticking out of the top, wilting with their fragility, the words barely hanging onto them. Multiple words stuck to Gon's mind from Silva, and others from Hisoka. "Trial", "Key", "Covenant" mirrored the bookmarks from his inner voices from his memories. He flipped the pages carefully to the first bookmark, and landed on a chapter titled "Covenants"

_Nen Covenants are widely known to the world of Nen users, but what people do mot know is that there are multiple implicit types of covenant._

_**Deterrent Covenants** are Covenants that threaten the user's wellbeing if they do a certain thing specified by the user. These give large boosts of power by funnelling their abilities into a certain restrictive space. The boost is greater if it applies to the use of Nen abilities._

_**Threat Covenants** are covenants that threaten the user's wellbeing if they fail to achieve a certain goal. This gives the user a large boost of power by forcing the user out of their normal path in life. The boost is greater if the required condition is greater, more permanent, or the punishment is more severe._

_**Collapse Covenants** are Covenants that take a certain aspect of the user's whole life and compresses it down into a temporary burst of power. These covenants cannot be reversed by natural means, and as such, grant immense boosts of power due to it's nature. The boost is greater if more things are sacrificed._

Gon's eyes followed the lines of the Collapse Covenants. _So that's what happened..._ His eyes fell lower towards the next short passage.

_A Covenant Key is a unique Nen-crafted item that, when utilised properly, can undo the effects of the Covenant the user has placed upon themselves. Each Covenant archetype interacts with and changes the Inversion process according to multiple variables._

Gon's upper body was starting to sway. His focus was too far into the book. Zeno had left him to his own devices at this point. 

Gon looked up at the dizzying height of the personal library Killua just so happened to not mention and thought. He let the dust and the paper-tinged air fill his lungs. It was warm, treated by the sunbeams that acted as a constant companion to anyone avid enough to read during the day, and a constant reminder of the next. 

The days to give _to him._  
The days to spend _by him._  
The days to share _with him_. 

Gon's mind was taunting him now, envisioning how the sun would catch in his alabaster ruffle. How each and every wave would warm up his head, slowly but surely allowing him to sleep soundly. All of the places he'd rest with a book in his hand. Leaning by the bookshelves, or perched on top. Sat cross-legged on the floor, or on a table, polished to an impossible shine. _Impossible for that cascading brown anyway..._ Gon never cared for the colour of his own eyes, but now? Now he feels like he could hurl every curse under the World Tree at them and it still wouldn't be enough, because _what shade of brown could ever compare to the cerulean depths that once bore witness to the same picturesque scene here, sanctifying it? What wooden door allowed to show it's origin could dare to present itself to the vast, infinite ocean and compare itself?_ Gon followed a tear streaking down his face, and caught it before it hit the page, preventing it from blending the ink into a mottled grey nothing. He missed Killua, but he knew that he couldn't stay by his side now. Not like this. So he read on, for his own sake, so he could be with that boy again.

_**The Covenant Key** is an item unique to everyone who undergoes a Covenant. It is a way out of the Covenant made, but it comes at a high price. When you make a Covenant, the Key is created, and manifests itself in the place that the user most fears._

_When a user comes into contact with their Key, several things happen. First, the Key becomes visible by everyone, not just the user. Second, the Inversive begins to resonate with the Key. The Inversive is an artifact that was found by Chairman Isaac Netero, and resides within the Chairman's office._

It was the next passage that caught Gon's attention, however.

_If the user made a Collapse Covenant and sacrificed the usage of their Nen (Otherwise known as Nenlocked), then a number of extra things happen. First, the user, upon touching the key, is granted one Nen ability, not including Hatsu, in accordance with their most required skill at that time. For example, if your key is in the middle of a gang hideout, then you might get your Ren back so you can fend them off. This isn't limited to the basics. Dire situations can grant specific advanced uses of Nen, with the only restriction being that the basic form cannot be used. For example, if you were to gain Shū, you would not be able to use basic Ten. Another caveat to this is that the ability gained is based off of an imprint left on the body by the last usage of the technique. For example, if someone were to use their Ren on you, you would gain that person's proficiency for Ren. The proficiency gained does diminish over time, but the user's proficiency will be heightened by this._

Gon skipped part of the page, and noticed that he was starting to sway again. He took a seat at the table that was being spotlighted by the window, and read on.

_The inversion process is longer than just getting the Covenant Key. Once the Key unlocks the Inversive, the door will open, and inside will be your Nen Trial. This Trial is the last thing standing between you and freedom from your Covenant. It will consist of a certain number of steps, depending on the severity of your Covenant. Many have died trying to complete the steps written on their Trial. Beside each step is an initiation seal. This will influence reality around you so that the scenario in the step is able to be fulfilled. Each seal is locked until you complete the step previous, and each step cannot be started by any other means but by activating the seal._

Gon's brain was almost sizzling at this point, but he read on.

_If a Nenlocked user finishes their trial, then a number of different things happen. The user will gain back any abilities that they have learned, but amplified slightly, based on the proficiency of the user's gifted ability, and their development. The user will also gain the proficiency of the Nen type diametrically opposite to their own, alongside their own._

Zeno's footsteps were muffled by Gon's brain ringing in his ears. He hadn't taken in anything aside from the Trial. Zeno noticed Gon's puzzled expression, and spoke.

"Had enough? You see now, why we asked you to read it, do you not?"

"Yeah, I guess. So, the Key isn't the end of the test is it?"

Zeno smiled, calmly. His eyes closing portrayed a world of wisdom.

"Come with me. I think I know where your Key is."

Gon stood up, and followed Zeno once again. He was led out of the library, and the warm sun-treated air called out to him from behind. He watched as Zeno tapped on different bricks on a wall underneath an ornate picture frame holding up the cold, distant face of Killua's mother. He watched, slightly more stunned, as the bricks opened up into a dirty stone staircase. Cobwebs lined the ceiling and traced the cracks in the walls. The dark of the stairs had reached up into Gon and pulled him inwards. _This was where Killua was kept. Hurt._ His mind was pulsating with visions of Killua wincing and crying out in pain, the phantom echoes of his friend's voice mixed in with the very real echoes of his own footsteps were drowned out by a misplaced light, peeking out of the dark.

Elsewhere, a phone rang.

"What is the problem?" A jagged, deep voice spoke.

"Those two. Those two that came in, I heard one speaking to Canary." The butler spoke in ragged disarray.

"And? What did they say?"

"Killua is planning to use them to get Master Kalluto!" The call was ended abruptly by Silva.

Gon reached into the shackle, blood coating the inside of it. _Killua's blood._ Zeno saw a bright, golden key manifest into Gon's hand. Gon could feel movement from where he once was talking to Silva. Fast movement. Zeno noted the En field that had surrounded them both, and smiled. Gon started to sweat, and he hid his key in his pocket.

"They know now. You have my En field, use it wisely. They will cut you down without hesitation." Zeno uttered one final, solemn warning, and Gon was left alone. The maze-like corridors of the Zoldyck Dungeons were mapped out to him. A backdoor presented itself. It led out just behind the butler's quarters. Footsteps behind him were growing louder and more forceful. He couldn't let himself be heard. He breathed in. One beat. His heel pressed down on the back of his shoe, and smoothed itself out against concrete. He leapt off his back foot into a sprint. Two beats. When his foot touched concrete again, the heel rolled in his leg, the back of the shoe slid onto the concrete, and the point of contact rolled itself around to the toe. The other foot followed suit, and the only thing Gon could hear was his heartbeat. Three. 

_Second left, right, third right, second left, up._ The directions he had mapped out became a mantra to him. The force reverberating behind him grew slightly quieter. The point of contact rolled around to his toe again, and he leapt off. His En field began projecting again. As he took off down the first right, he saw Killua's mother pass by at the end of the corridor. He forced himself to stop dead. Her voice rang out into the abyss.

"I know you're down here, and I know that you want to steal my baby Kalluto away. When I find you, I'll make sure there's nothing of you left to find." Gon's heartbeat doubled as he forced his breath out slowly, gasping for another just as carefully. His breath caught when he sensed Kikyou begin to run down the corridor straight ahead of her. Silva was closing in behind him, so he stopped breathing and ran. When he got to the door, he pushed it only to find that it had been blocked. Gon panicked. Silva was patrolling the hallways with Kikyou, their footsteps echoing around the whole dungeon. He couldn't just knock because they would hear him. He looked through his En field to see what the blockade was, and Kalluto was sitting there, reading a book by the bookshelf that was in front of the door. Kurapika froze, his eyes flaring up something sanguine.

Gon had only one hope, to push. Push and hope that Kalluto would react fast enough.

Kurapika motioned, vocally, very loudly, for Kalluto to step away from the bookshelf quickly. The sound carried through the bookshelf and into the hallways of the torture maze. The footsteps stopped dead, and Kalluto jumped off his chair and ran to the other side of the room, behind Kurapika. Gon closed his eyes, and pushed through the door, into the chair that Kalluto had been sitting at. Kurapika didn't need to ask.

"Kalluto, we're going to be going now, okay?"

Kalluto said nothing. Canary looked at Kurapika and Gon with wild concern. Gon nodded at Kurapika who nodded back, and the door flew open, followed by the frantic footsteps of panic berating the already flattened carpet, kicking up dust that had been left there for months. 

No longer was stillness part of the decoration. They each had had enough of stillness. 

No longer was Kalluto Zoldyck going to be hurt by the Zoldycks. They each had had enough of people being hurt. 

No longer were things going to stay the way they were. The four of them had agreed with themselves that the way things were wasn't working. 

Gon didn't have his Nen.  
Killua didn't have his siblings safe.  
Kurapika had no purpose.  
Leorio had nobody there with him after Yorknew.

Everybody wanted change. Everything was going to change. Nobody knew what would come next.

In the heat of the moment, Kurapika grabbed his phone and called Killua as Gon grabbed his own and called Leorio.

"September 1st. ASAP."

"Got it." Killua replied.

"Okay." Leorio exclaimed.

Their voices dripped with concern. Both hung up, and for a moment, their hearts beat as one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This was meant to be an info dump chapter about th new system I came up with, but I accidentally made Gon yearn harder for Killua. Whoops? Also I decided to put in a chase scene that would have been the centerpoint of the next chapter because there's only so much you can do with that you know? Sorry again if it feels rushed.
> 
> Any feedback means the world to me! Thank you all for reading this far!


	9. Methods of Egress.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon, Kurapika, and recently recovered Kalluto make haste! Meanwhile, the news sets in amongst the other three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw the Writing Bug refuses to bite you because Reasons hahaha I havent been able to write this for reasons unknown to anyone but the mischievous deity messing with me like how we mess with the sims.
> 
> TW: Blood, death, injury (NMC, don't worry), Killua's trauma kinda,

The wind whistled past as Gon and Kurapika ran, Kalluto in tow. A sharp whistle rang out from behind them, and the ground began to quake. Gon's eyes narrowed as his pace quickened. The footsteps behind them stopped, exuding an aura of smug superiority. The heavy falling of bloodstained paws on the untamed earth signalled urgence. Gon's hair rose up, each hair standing from their slightly drooped state, repelled from each other like matching magnet poles. The three of them quickened their pace instinctively. The frantic pulse of their hearts couldn't dampen out every panicked scream heard behind each fall of Mike's legs. Each vibration sent into the earth echoed a life that had been taken by it's source. The winds dragged Gon's hair back out of his eyes, and the cold stung them shut. They could feel the warmth of the beast's breath on their backs, imposing on their available space, and in turn, their lives. Gon heard over the fear of death looming behind, a clamour muffled by a wall in front of them, exhoed by Kalluto's back pocket.

On the other side, a tour bus had pulled up to the Zoldyck's Gates again. Once again, an in-too-deep Hunter hassled Zebro, who was still on edge from Hisoka. 

"Oi, geezer!"

The two Hunters startled Zebro out of his trance, focusing too intently on the place where his voice had come from. The keys practically flew out of his hand. One of them bent down to brush the dust off of the key whilst the other lambasted Zebro for some reason only known by him. As the door was unlocked it was catapulted into the now scarred Hunter's face. The other was stunned into silence, as was everyone else, as a short green haired boy, and a taller man with long blond hair with a smaller boy in a kimono clinging desperately onto his hand, barreled through the open decoy gate.

The Hunter's friend was snapped out of his surprise when he saw the heir to the Zoldyck Family right in front of him, and he approached, trying to look as menacing as possible. 

"Can we help you, sir?" Kurapika stepped forward in front of Kalluto. His eyes were narrow and shaking. The man backed away when he heard the rending howl of whatever was behind the person in front of him.

"W-what was that?" His rough façade had decayed, leaving a fretful husk. 

"Would you like to find out?" Kurapika's voice dripped with contempt. He gestured to his friend, only just now getting up off of the ground, head spinning.

"Heh... I s-suppose they cou-- _hRKH_ " The man staggered, clutching at his stomach. His breathing was desperate, the streams of air turned into clawing ribbons at his mouth, just barely managing to keep him conscious. "couldn't get... them, eh?" He continued despite his very apparent injuries. Somehow, those ragged, weary words made their way into the other man's head, who then smiled defiantly at Kurapika, and walked past Kalluto, shooting him the darkest glare he had ever mustered.

"Get an ambulance, quick." Kurapika addressed the tour guide, looking on in abject horror, before turning to the other man, who was hit by the door not two minutes prior.

"I'm sorry for your loss." 

"What do you mean? Mitz can handle h--" His confidence in his friend was shattered alongside said friends bones. Kurapika turned and walked away, with Kalluto still holding his hand. Gon finished up with some idle chatter when he was called over into the tour bus by Kurapika. When they got in and sat down, Kalluto rubbed his eyes. Kurapika gave him a double seat, and sat next to Gon on the seats across from the table. He dozed off immediately.

* * *

Killua laid back on his bed. His arms were folded above his head, and his legs were folded, arched upwards. The excitement of his summons by Kurapika of all people was quickly diminished by his concern for Gon and if they managed to get Kalluto or not. His eyes were fixated on tracing a crack in the ceiling, mind running off with dark realities where they maybe weren't fast enough, until Alluka came in.

"Big brother?" Her concern wasn't easily hidden. Killua became frustrated, already knowing what she was going to ask, because she had asked it a hundred times already.

"Are you okay? After the phone call with Gon you looked shaky..." Alluka lowered her gaze slightly as Killua flinched. _Am I really that easy to read?_ He cleared his throat and his thoughts.

"Alluka, how many times to I have to say that you don't need to worry about me?"

Killua never liked saying that. It meant that he couldn't lean on anyone. His was the shoulder to cry over, but who could he turn to? He closed his eyes and remembered a time when he could cry. He'd only ever done it three times, and each with the same person. _Each time, his rough, but gentle hands would rub up and down my back, relieving tension and pushing every tear out. Every time, his arms would wrap around me, holding me close, flush against him, even if it meant being stained with the blood of another horrible **horrible** thing I'd done. Each time he whispered into my ears that it was okay. That soft, sweet voice that I could listen to for days, would reassure me, and each time I would accept it, because I'm greedy like that I guess. Every single time I cried, he made me feel warm. Every time, he gently pushed the hair out of my eyes so that he could see them, and wipe away my tears, and every time, I gently, unnoticeably, leaned into the touch. He's just so endlessly... him, and I'm still confused._

"Are you having _that_ thought again, brother?" Alluka's mouth curved upwards into a smug, catlike smile. Killua, cheeks burning, hands twitching into a hold of some sort, dismissed any and all thoughts of any nature nearby to anything his little sister _~~shouldn't be~~ was potentially_ thinking about with a simple...

"What do you mean 'that' thought? I could have been having any thought, and you could be thinking of any thought that I may or may not have had in my life! The chances of our thoughts being the same are--"

"100%? Yes, I know."

"Oh really? Then what am I thinking about?" Killua was fully aware of the zero convincing he just did, but he was too caught in a tizzy of _him_ to care.

"No! You need to be able to open up without me pulling every syllable out of your mouth!"

"No, no. I want to see if you're right! Come on, Alluka. What was I thinking?" Killua never usually got this standoffish with his little sister, but today wasn't one of usual happenings. Alluka huffed, begrudgingly telling him his own thoughts, which were to-the-letter perfect. Killua curled in on himself after the 19th word. When Alluka stopped, Killua pulled her up into his arms. He hid a single tear behind her back. When he pulled away, Alluka sighed, and started again.

"Who was on the phone just then?"

"Another friend of mine. We're moving again, today." Alluka's expression quickly fell from one of intrigue into one of confused despair.

"Why? It's been nice here!" The two of them had been staying in a hotel near a pristine beach. It hadn't rained once in 2 weeks, so the sand was finer than the dust in the air. Killua turned to face her, his face briefly showing a flash of glee, masking his thoughts better.

"We're meeting up with them!"

Alluka stared, wide-eyed at Killua, who was practically jumping at this point, and ran off to pack.

* * *

The phone hung, dejected, off of his hands. His elbows rested in his lap, itching red grooves into his legs that wouldn't be seen until he moved. His face, usually beaming with charisma, was practically falling off. He hadn't been able to get any sleep since the elections, not to mention study, and his vision was so blurry at this point that he couldn't tell that his glasses had fallen onto the floor, at least not from sight.

Leorio's hands reflexively, idly dialed. His lips quivered in tandem with his breathing, although he had done this many times before.

"Hey, Kurapika. I know you probably won't respond but I'm doing well." His words weaved an ill-convincing lie. 

"Gon just invited me to Yorknew, said it was urgent. I'm going to set off today, and I was wondering if you were going too?" His hand scratched idly at the back of his head. 

"I've wanted to meet up for a while. I'm worried about you, you know? We all are." He let the call hang in silence before speaking again.

"Well, if you aren't, can you at least tell me that you're okay?" He sighs, and hangs up. Kurapika would only hear the message much later. He stands up from his bedside, and starts to straighten out his suit. His eyes begin to clear themselves. He opens the curtains, and dust parts on the windowsill, made visible by the boundary between the piercing light outside and the consuming dark elsewhere.

* * *

Cheadle was warned about this. Every Zodiac was warned about this. The Inversive Artifact. It was said by Netero that the more powerful the contract to be inverted by the Key, the brighter it glowed. The light from it could be seen through the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok wow i wasn't planning on putting that much YEARN in this chapter but you know, whatever.
> 
> Also I can't write for Alluka to save my life haha sorry.
> 
> Sorry as well for this taking so long, the writing didn't want to go :(
> 
> Any interaction is welcome and appreciated, thank you for reading this regardless!
> 
> Oh yeah, you can reach me at chichen-nustgrer on Tumblr!


	10. A Dreamer's Dive (Gon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy you're all going to hate me for this one! I basically decided here to flex my abstract description muscles more than I have before. I also wanted to put more angst in and also explore a thought(TM).
> 
> TW: Vague mentions of rape. Themes of abandonment. Dream-like states and environments. Blood. More of the Pitou thing. Abstract and unreality-esque descriptions and places.

Gon watched vacantly as Kalluto's eyes began to fall shut, his head gently rocking with the minute movement of the plane that was headed for Yorknew. Gon followed his head only when he had drifted off. The leminiscate motions lulled Gon away into sleep as well. Kurapika felt a gentle thump on his arm, and let himself rest for a bit.

Gon awoke. His blanket was bunched up over him, a complex manifold of cotton and fabric, a ring of spears around the advancing cold so that it may protect the warmth under it. His desk lay illuminated by the piercing white light that wasn't there when he fell asleep just minutes ago. In the corner of the room was an easel. Affixed to the side was a heavily used paint palette, from where Gon was sat, he could have sworn that the colours were shifting. He cleared his eyes of the nothing that was actually there, and looked again at a fresh palette, complete with white, black, red, green, and many shades of blue.

 _I never knew that was there..._ The white light shifted upon the desk until it reflected off in a million brilliant shades of orange, and each began to dim slightly as he got out of bed and approached the blank paper. An instant of time where the while world was painted in richer tones, lost in the sands that began to fall through a flipped hourglass as Gon read the note left at the bottom of the easel's ridge.

"Draw something that captivates you."

Gon felt the world behind him shift out of focus. No two lines that made up the pattern on his blanket were parallel, and yet each one was so precisely equal to one another that one could easily mistake looking at the center of the bed as looking at the edge. 

Gon picked up the palette and started to paint with a paintbrush that he had never picked up. He started with a wide black circle, the shine of the paint was lost in itself as it dried instantly onto the paper. After thinking on which one to start with, he started cutting streaks of blue towards the center, the pigments bleeding out onto the page like _**blood bleeding out onto grass.**_ One could argue that Gon had been painting for all of his life. He let his world drift out of focus further, the lines that bordered one wall and the next crossed into themselves at the corners and spun brilliant impossibility into themselves.

When he got to the bottom of the page, Gon started to notice something. The paint was dripping into the pupil, which was above it. The vacant space between the edge of the page and the vacuous night in the center was being filled of it's own accord. Gon could feel the pull of the painting, the iris pointed inwards to the pupil, _**now constricted, pulled narrow by dread that he never saw through his own, aged eyes, and that he still didn't see now.**_ He was captivated.

Gon closed his eyes, and when he opened them, nothing had changed. He was still as blind as when he had them closed. He looked downwards and saw nothing. The peerless void encroached from all directions, and through the homogeneity of the dark, he saw winds carry the dust thst made it so. He closed his eyes again, and landed.

When Gon opened his eyes again, he was on a beach around a lake. When he looked into the lake, he saw himself. When he reached out and touched the lake, it remained still. The lake was black. A black so deep it threatened to eat the light of the universe and plunge it into darkness, were it not in the company of the endless nebulae of blue. The sand became space itself, majestic lights and darks of a familiar sapphire, and melded itself into waveforms you would only see on the tideswept seaside. The waves formed lines that betrayed physical possibility, for were they true, said waves would form concentrisms around the static lightless lake.

Gon reached down and grabbed a handful of the watercolour sands, only for it to fall through his fingers and stain his palms as the powder turned to paint. It ran down the crevice of that familiar iris, and melted back into it. He felt the water contract into itself. _Did it not like that? Did I hurt the lake?_ Gon's thoughts sunk, pulled into the lake that had recoiled at his action. He stared at the superimposed void that had shrunk away, and then back at his hands. _**Stained blue. Is this how he felt? Why have I never asked?**_

Gon ran away, towards the edge of the waxing beach. He looked out across and into th horizon, and underneath was a desert of pale, cracked clay. The surface raised into smooth peaks, and fell into riverless valleys beside them. He watched as it rose, and fell, he watched as it breathed, as if it was a living thing. The slow motions and steadily changing colours gently tugged at Gon's energy until he was lying back on the _**paintedbluepaintedbluepaintedblue**_ staring up at an impossible wall stretching onto infinity. As he traced the vertical horizon, his vision fixed upon something. 

A silhouette etched itself into the misty shiftings of the unknown. When he focused, a faint, irritating voice could be heard, then all at once. The voice drilled it's way into his head, painful and harsh. The voice was his own, but it was wrong. He heard words that he had said, but in a poor mimicry of his own tone. His ears felt hot, and his head felt like it was going to explode. He felt the words spoken enter him and bring up the memories of when he said it himself, and where they came from. All at once, his shoulder in pain. His other arm shattered. His ribs fractured. _His friends lost. Too many. **Their hands. Everywhere.**_

He got up. _Run._ He ran. _Jump._ He leapt as high as he could. In the distance, for a split second, he saw a great forest of white trees, stretching off into--

The lake opened up to catch him, and he felt nothing. A pleasant nothing to carry him away. He closed his eyes.

When they opened again, he was in a hospital bed. The kind eyes of a doctor looked over at him.

"Gon!"

The worried voice startled two others in the room, who stared at him with a blend of relief and shock. Leorio, Kurapika, and Killua had come to see him.

"What happened? Why am I here?"

Their gazes shifted between each other and anything that wasn't Gon.

"Don't you remember? You got hurt pretty bad. We had to get out of there with you." Killua spoke up with a tone that resembled the warmth of a caring hand, and the cold of a blade hidden just behind the palm. Gon felt it, it stung.

"Oh... Thank you... Did we mana--"

"Listen, Gon." The hand was gone. "This has been going on for long enough." Kurapika was always good with blades and metal.

"Kurapika, you can't jus--"

"Leorio! We talked about this, remember?! It has to be said now." Leorios gaze darkened, and Killuas deftly evaded capture. Kurapika spoke again. "You've been tagging along with us for so long." The 'us' was bitter taste for everyone who heard it. "Every time we went on a mission, this has happened. We can't keep letting you do this to yourself." Kurapika got up to leave. Leorio closed his eyes and followed. Killua looked back at Gon, that familiar lake surrounded by the cosmic beaches retreated again. He got up, and a tear fell.

"You can't keep chasing us. This is for your own good, Gon. I'm sorry." Kurapika left.

Leorio chased after Kurapika, shouting something incomprehensibly.

"Wait... Where are you going? WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOI--" His words were cut off by a weight on his chest, and a gentle but noticeable whispered cry. A pressure on his shoulders and his back forced tears out into Killua's shoulder, who was doing the same. In that moment, two hearts beat together. Killua pulled away and hid his eyes. Gon's hands slipped from around Killua into his own lap. He whispered to anyone that would listen.

"No... don't go, please..." His head fell into his hands. "PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING, JUST DON'T LEAVE ME!" His eyes opened in his palms.

His eyes opened.

Kalluto was staring at him. He felt a strange tightness around him.

"Kurapika? Is that you?"

"I'm here. You don't need to worry, we won't leave."

"But... What about everything you said?"

"Whatever I said in there, forget it. I never said anything like that, and I never will."

Gon's eyes watered and stung. He let himself cry, and he didn't let himself sleep again. The view started to become familiar anyway. 

He got his phone out and saw that he had 3 missed calls from Killua 4 minutes ago. He called back.

"Killua? Sorry I w--"

"Gon, are you okay?"

"What, yeah? I was asleep so I couldn't get your call."

"Oh, yeah that's cool... Listen, me and Alluka are on our way, I just wanted to call to say that we're close." Killua's non-concern betrayed his tone before. Gon didn't question it, howevee.

"Oh okay! I'm so exc--"

"Gon, please be careful around them."

"Around who, Killua?"

But Killua had already hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's easy to get wrapped up in not writing isn't it? I initially planned for all six dreams (oh yeah there's gonna be six im sorry) to be one massive megachapter but that would take too much procrastination to get done in a reasonable timeframe.
> 
> Thank you for being patient, trust me when I say it will pay off soon.
> 
> As usual, any interaction is much appreciated! You can find me at chinchen-nustgrer on tumblr! Any Nenarchy-related posts I make there are tagged with #nenarchy for ease. Am I getting ahead of myself?
> 
> also i kinda hc that when gon wakes up from a dream he can't always tell if that was a dream and/or if he's still in it... idk


	11. A Dreamer's Desire (Killua)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua is down OTHERWORLDLY.
> 
> Alluka bullies his older brother, like the good sister she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've needed to write something like this. Just pure KG fluff for a bit. Maybe some OOC Killua idk but it's sort of explained.
> 
> Chapter is STRONGLY based on the sense of smell.
> 
> TW: Petnames, very strong sensory language, embarassment.

Killua had spent roughly half of his time analyzing the call from before, oblivious to the fact that he could call Gon. After listening to it over and over again, Killua eventually came to the conclusion that Kalluto was safe. He didn't want to press Kurapika for details when the call happened, so he was left to glean specifics from slight audial clues.

Alluka had already gone to sleep an hour ago. Killua had spent the other half of his time inspecting the whole plane for threats. He sent out his Ren on every group of people to see who'd respond, and he toured the plane with En active to check for needles. He never saw anything, and never noticed anyone not react to the Ren, so it was safe to assume that Killua was the only Nen-user onboard. He had let Alluka sit on the outer seat mostly so that he would come inbetween her and any other person, but otherwise so he could get up and check without disturbing her. When he sat back down, he gently closed the blind on the window beside Alluka, before letting himself settle.

Killua had taken the back seat of the plane, so he knew that no prying eyes behind him would become interested by either his phone or Alluka, and so, about half an hour after Alluka had drifted off, he took out his phone. He angled it just so that nobody except her and Killua could see it.

"Let's see... I.M.K.A.K.123"

He had passcode locked his photo gallery. Were you to ask him why, he would quickly dismiss it with a 'There's nothing in there!' naturally causing you to think the worst. Killua would also think the worst after saying that, because he would rather not tell people that there was a folder dedicated to Gon Freeccs in there. There was nothing incriminating, mind you. Just group photos and the odd picture of him sitting on a cliff edge, looking outwards into the evening sky, casting razor-like shadows on the serrations of the grass. It was his sedative if he got too stressed, and his guilty pleasure. He loved the feeling he got when he looked at Gon, like something got lodged in his stomach and was slowly shrinking away, releasing warmth into every cell in his body. He didn't allow moments like these very often, but in the months that passed after Gon left, they had begun to occur more frequently. There was no better way to put how he felt than how Alluka so eloquently does. 

"Big brother's a smitten kitten, isn't he?"

 _Smitten kitten... I wonder... how it would sound if..._ Killua's eyes fell slowly, trying very hard not to turn that nickname into a hypochorism, and failing spectacularly, whilst also subsequently forgetting to lock his phone. When he adjusted and leaned back into the seat, Alluka stirred.

Killua woke. _This isn't the plane... This feels..._

"...familiar."

Killua sat up on his half of the bed. The other half of the striped blanket had been gently, yet noticeably moved. Killua attempted to move from the bed, but his left knee was caught by his right thigh, and his entire momentum had become a weapon by which to force him directly into _such a familiar scent... And such a soft pillow as well..._ He breathed deep. The scent filled the back of his throat and brushed along every inch of his windpipe, gently easing each cartilage ring. His ribs were slowly displaced to make room for his filling lungs, stretching his chest outwards under an intoxicated smile, packed tight with oxygen that had been stifled by the smell of hair. _Wait... Hair?_

Killua pulled back, and was hit by a very different smell, a distant one that sent an aching through his stomach and caused his mouth to water. It was only then that he remembered where he was.

"Whale Island?" He muttered to himself, ever so slightly aware of the incongruence of his locations. The smell came back, sweeter this time. Warm, and fresh. Killua gave in and started to walk downstairs. His olfactory senses were mire refined here. _Baked... Apple and custard?_ He could feel his eyes light up at the prospect, his mind wandering into how it would taste, the gentle tang of the apple, the all-consuming, comfortingly sluggish flavour of the custard, hanging on as it clung to his tongue and his lips, slowly falling before being caught. It was so vivid that he could almost taste it there.

Killua looked up from his food-trance to see Gon, scrambling his hands away from his face. A beige-white lace cut through a dark green plaid pattern and tied itself neatly around his back. His shirt hung loose on his shoulders, the sleeves wrapped gently around his busy arms, falling far beneath them. Patterns woven from emerald and grass coiled upwards and met at a lazily half done collar. Upon closer inspection, Killua could see how closely his shirt matched his hair. He could also see faint traces of silver on the front of Gon's collar but he had quickly buried that thought so deep in his mind that it ended up inside his spinal cord and burned involuntary response into his tensing arms and his beet-red face.

"Hey Killua! Did you sleep well?" Gon quickly turned back around to address the steadily sweetening custard. He shook his head, and the pan. A bubble rose to the top and released more of the warm, cream aroma. Killua could practically feel himself melting into it, as low sounds melted out of his mouth. Gon straightened upon hearing that, his hair somehow standing more on end than usual. He forced a chuckle.

"Does Killua like it?"

Had Killua had his eyes anywhere other than Gon right then and there, he would have died on the spot.

"Y-yeah... It smells really good." _But not as good as..._

"Do you want some? I've made more than enough!"

As Gon poured out some of the custard into a bowl, Killua's smile curved upwards.

"Mmmm... Not really." His speech slowed, as id it skewered itself on the hands of a clock and dragged it to a halt. _How can I excuse myself from eating now? Stomach ache won't work..._ His thoughts ran at a mile a minute, before deftly weaving a half-truth. "I haven't woken up properly yet, so eating now will make me feel worse."

"Oh, okay then! At least get yourself some water though. There's plenty of cups!"

"Thanks Gon, I'll find something to watch while you're at this, then." His words were forced. He wanted a lot, not least of all something to eat, but he wanted the world. This world. The world that was standing but 3 feet away from him. He knew, however, that he had to do this properly. Plus, he needed more time to calm himself. His hand was nearly shaking as the cool water sent sparks through his skin. He wouldn't notice it, but in the reflection of the tap, Gon was staring at Killua, smiling wistfully.

As Killua left the room to find something to watch, Gon looked back down. He lifted his shirt up to his face and breathed deep, the silver strands embedded in the cotton pulled away, if only for a second. He entered the room with a bowl and a light buzzing about him.

Killua was still trying to find something to watch when he felt the weight of Gon sitting beside him, relaxing gently on his arms. The smell of the apple crumble that Gon had made and the smell from the pillow before had melded together into an enticing haze. He found himself leaning into the contact between him and Gon, trying to fill his senses with it.

"Aww, Killua really is my smitten kitten, isn't he?"

"Only for you..." It wasn't until he had realised what he'd said that he recoiled and turned to look at Gon, hands flailing and... strangely empty. He looked again at Alluka, who wasn't there a second ago. _Wait, was that all a dream?_ His disappointment was cut short by Alluka's hysterics. _Was I talking in my sleep?_

"Yes, yes you were, big brother." Alluka didn't even need to hear the question being asked, the sheer dread folding Killua's face into itself said enough.

Killua's head craned back to Alluka, who had hold of his phone, the screen glowed and shone a bright pink off her dress. His face dropped further, and he sunk into his chair further. Any sense of confidence once held by the young hunter was replaced with a deep, cavernous shame. Alluka was still laughing, echoing underneath itself. Killua couldn't help but smile at both of his sisters being heard together. 

"Please return to your seats." A monotone voice called out along the speakers. Alluka and Nanika both lit up in excitement. Killua's eyes widened. All of them sat in anticipation. Killua seized the opportunity to grab his phone back, and Alluka laughed wryly.

"So you admitted it then, big brother?"

"Admitted what?"

"You're _his_ smitten kitten, aren't you."

"S-shut up! Why does everyone say such embarassing things?"

"Awww, you're his little kittyboy aren't you?"

Killua's face hummed in harsh cherry tones. A tiny voice at the back of his head debated with his remaining logical thought about whether he should feel ashamed for liking that, because the question was no longer 'Do I like that?'

"N-no! I-it's just..." He squirmed under the judgemental smug gaze Alluka had inherited from him, ironically enough.

"Just what? You want to hear it from him?" She dragged out the last syllable, teasing the now shaking mess of a boy beside her. He said nothing.

When everyone was back in their seats, the speakers came back on.

"We will be arriving shortly. Please keep your seatbelts on as we descend into Lingon Airport."

The plane rose with impatient and excited chatter, that wouldn't end until landing.

His heart fluttered when he felt the plane dip. His leg bounced when he thought about what was about to happen. About meeting his friends again. About meeting his best friend again. About his best friend. _His eyes. His smile. The way his freckles still showed up on his skin, warm to the touch, capturing the light and holding it close, dwarfing it by his own._ He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but deep down, he wanted to be held by him, he wanted to hold him and never let go.

Her heart sunk when she thought about her ears. She reached for her brother's hand, who held her own with the fervor only a Zoldyck liberated could show. She remembered how nice Gon was, and how happy her brother was when he saw him up again. She wanted to see that smile again. She wanted to feel that light again. She couldn't wait, and that helped with the popping in her ears, at least a little bit.

They touched down at Lingon, and for once, Killua didn't worry. For once, Alluka could rest. For once, their hearts beat slower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no I didn't mean to build up so much only to kill it before the payoff. I am so sorry about this. I do love them being together, but I can't let them yet. You know your boy has to build that artificial romantic tension lol.
> 
> Also I hc that Killua really, _really_ likes petnames.
> 
> I'll eventually do something plot-related with Alluka and Nanika (Please do not worry!) but I can't write Nanika well so you get my slightly altered Nanika that can be awake concurrently with Alluka. That is most likely going to be explained in her dream.
> 
> I'm so sorry for those who wanted non-rom action, but I have so many thoughts about killugon I needed to put some down. More Trial related chapters will be coming after the Dreamer's Arc!
> 
> Any interaction is very much appreciated, but please know that your readership is more than enough! 
> 
> My old tumblr account was restored, so my tumblr is vampyrix-25. Here I'll try to be more transparent with my plans and also myself and my interests. Thank you all for reading!


End file.
